Good Little Girls
by fisoh
Summary: Thoughts on Mary's blindness, a chapter for each character.
1. Mary

Everyone always though she was so good. So perfect that when tragedy struck she had no choice but to bite her pain silently and suffer alone, inwardly crumbling because the world regarded her as strong and brave.

No one would know the fear that gnawed her inside, or the feel trembling flutter of her hands attempting to make sense of her darkened senses. At night when she lay next to the heavy, measured breathing of her sister, she wondered why such things had to be, clawing her small fingernails into the sheets, wanting to shred them beneath her as salty tears peppered the pillow supporting her head.

But she didn't say anything, because she couldn't. Mary Ingalls was a girl who got on with things, who made do. And so her smile simply waned a little, and the dimpled blush of her cheeks faded slightly with the startling blue of her eyes.

She resented Laura, the girl who moaned and cried that it was unfair she had to become a school teacher because now Mary couldn't. Didn't she see Mary hadn't wanted this to happen? That it was slowly tearing her apart to see her begrudging little sister embark on the dream now confined to the forgotten corners of Mary's memory.

She couldn't say anything, she remained stoic, perfect, the Mary Ingalls everyone knew, because good little girls didn't cry.

* * *

**what do you think?**

**Laura's point of view next I think :)**


	2. Laura

It would have been so much easier for Laura if she hated her sister. Then she could have cursed her name into the night, resented her when she wasn't looking, laughed at her when she turned away.

But she didn't hate Mary; she loved her, the deep and twisted sinews of sisterhood binding them together and ensuring that their paths remained parallel. It was just that she didn't know what to say. So she remained the Laura everyone knew her to be: free spirirted, wild, the adventurous girl. Sometimes when she had to help her sister she felt the burdgeoning feeling of...she didn't want to say it, but Mary was sometimes a burden to her.

Laura simply wanted to run free and laugh into the wind. Now she had to check herself. Think of her sister.

It wasn't as if Laura had set her heart on a path to follow, but now she being thrust into the school house, and she only wished that she could have had a choice. At times Laura did resent her sister for this, but the overwhelming duty to Ma and Pa meant she would swallow these feelings guiltily as soon as they surfaced.

Life had chosen to steer Mary into a different path, but it had not left Laura untouched. Sometimes, sitting on the prairie hill, feeling her hair being whiped over her shoudlers, and the prickling tingle of the summer wind coursing through her body, she wished that her life was still hers to mould, to chose and to live in _her _way.

Then she would sniff and run down the hill to the house, because good litle girls didn't waste time with such thoughts, they simply took life as it came.


	3. Ma

It might have been easier just to pretend nothing had changed. A favourite child was wrong anyway, they had never consciously acted towards Laura or Mary in a different way, and it just seemed better to act as if nothing had happened. Continuing with life seemed to shut away the pain and box out the harsh reality they didn't want to face.

It wasn't exactly ignorance, ignorance was not taking into account what had happened. No, this was simply forgetting, forgetting whatever had been planned before, whatever their life had been, and starting anew, knowing everything was different, but acting as if it wasn't.

Her faith was challenged, as she watched her life jolt into a different path, and wonder simply why. But there was nothing in reflection, only less answers and bitter pain. So there was only life to be gotten on with now, to make the most of and to revel in.

But watching her daughter silently at the close of evenings, it was harder to smile. It was harder to copy the carefree expression of her youngest's face, because she had come to see that good little girls weren't always shaded from the harshness of the world, no matter how good they had been.


	4. Note

Hey, sorry if you were expecting an update, I hate disappointing but I'm stuck as to whose point of view to do next.

I figure Pa's would be mainly the same as Ma's so perhaps not him. I thought about doing Nellie's but not sure if that would work? Carrie's very young at this point so not sure if it's worth doing her either!

I'll try and come up with something, I promise I will update soon, but if you could suggest another person's point of view to use I would be very grateful!

Thanks!

Promise I haven't given up on this story, just having a temporary mind blank :)


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